IT'S ON

WHAT: DINNER & PARTY

WHY: NEW YEAR'S EVE

WHEN: 31.12.2009 1800

WHERE: REI & SHUUHEI'S PAD, WOMB VIP

WHO: GORGEOUS GIRLS & HOT GUYS

HOW: COME WITH AN EMPTY STOMACH & PARTY SPIRIT! WE ARE GOING ALL OUT!

YOU WILL NEVER SEE WHAT I SAW

rei and shuuhei had choices but they opt to work this christmas so it's a quiet one again this year.

parents are off for an american christmas and word has it that oli's hosting them. ellie's back in hkg. shin's having a hawaiian christmas til new year's eve. sounds like a lonely xmas for us eh?

to tell the truth, i quite look forward to this weekend. i mean not that i'm complaining but i've been constantly accompanied and i never had a quiet time of my own since the break up. i know it doesn't really make sense to so called mourn over it but hey there were good times too and i'm human. he had a special place in my heart and i know clearly that i meant something to him too. i guess we were caught in a mud created by lingering feelings and temptations.

i've always been blessed since birth. having to have grew up half of my life in australia, i experienced the differences of people and cultures. while i'm proud to be a japanese, i wouldn't want to be stuck there as you know how that part of the world is. after grad, i had the privilege to travel. people who don't know me well have a very different impression of me. being raised out of japan and having both parents as doctors, they tend to think that i'm a spoiled princess. i don't blame them, really. it's a by-product derived from my affinity towards fine and expensive material. well, what they don't know is that i bought many of those stuff with my own hard-earned money. i worked damn hard to be where i am now.

my decision to join un left them gobsmacked but they went to the extend of saying that it was just a facade. what they didn't know didn't hurt me for i know exactly what i wanted in life. my years in war and despair-ridden areas showed the worst side of humanity and it did me well. stripping the luxurious side of me to join un was and will always be one of the best decisions i've ever made. while i witnessed poverty, pain, despair, selfishness, loss of faith, cruelty and monstrosity of humankind, i experienced hope, faith, kindness, humbleness and love. that kept me human and sane.

it was also then when i met the love of my life. we shared the same vision and had the same goal but god had other plans for us so he took doug away to be his side. coming back to japan isn't something i planned for and to be frank, isn't something i wanted. while i looked happy exterior, i longed to be out there again. i guess you could say it was like a drug. i suppressed it, convincing myself to let myself learn new things. dad set my path to be a doctor when i was young and for the second time in my life, he set another path for me and i felt almost useless. winning the award made things smoother for me. it was a recognition that many finally accepted of me. it affirmed my position and status.

the now me, well, is something i want and not want to be. things are too easy for me to obtain. everything's laid out for me. but something's missing. perhaps that is why i decided to work on xmas. i missed those times when my sole purpose was definite.

sorry if this is too heavy for the festive season. ^^

XMAS ALL OVER TOKYO

akasaka.

shinjuku.

roppongi.

now i wonder why there isn't any shibuya and harajuku?

みなとみらい

歌舞伎町

a trip down to kabukicho with shuuhei, ellie and shin and this guy tried to get some business from me. mom must not be made aware that we went to this area. she'd flipped.

IT WAS A BORING DAY AT WORK

workplace during noon and dusk.

MY FAVOURITE TIME OF THE YEAR

紅葉. 六義園.

i'm beginning to think i spend too much time of taking photos during fall. ^_^

OVERDUE CELEBRATION

no, not a celebration for that riddance. it's the another one. the honorary thingo.

thank you shin, for making the night happened. definitely brought the aussie in me out that night ;). we should head down under one day.

DOSHI RIVER IN NOVEMBER

we didn't realise how much dad had missed fishing until we went to doshi river last weekend.

elusive shot of mr. kamata in action.

shuuhei went cuckoo.

BLOWING OFF THAT FLICKER OF FLAME

sho s.

i don't understand. you played the game and you got what you wanted. it hurt me for a little while but hey, i saw coming long before. there were signs. while i let them past me, i was prepared. i feel sorry that oli did what she did to you but then again, you deserved it.

after all these, saying sorry doesn't matter anymore. it doesn't make a difference. i could do a lot of things to bring you down but i didn't. and i won't. you have my word. i don't want to play dirty. it's clear it isn't worth to soil my hands. i let you have it. i don't believe in firsts, seconds or thirds. i'm born and raised to be the one and only.

still, i don't understand, but you know what, i don't have to understand. i just need to let you go. and i did that the day you unfolded your game. you should let me go too.

rei k.

ON THE WAY HOME

the other home; parents' home, that is.

SEE YOU IN NYC. SOON.

my bitch. my girlfriend. my shoulder-to-cry-on. my partner-in-crime. my glutton buddy. my confidant. my ace. my ride or die. my cheer leader. the sister i never had.

i remember the first day i met you at school. i was just 10 and everything was so foreign. you were the first one to talk to me in class. the smile you gave me melt my heart. since then, you've been my beck and call. we laughed. we sang. we danced. we cried. we bitched. we talked crap. we barfed. we shared secrets. you made those 8 years wonderful for me. when i had to leave, i cried my balls out at the airport and you didn't. i was pissed at you for that but later i found out you cried yours out on your way home. i wished i never left. even now you are in nyc, i can always rely on you. you are always there for me, no matter the time, the day, the place. you cheered me on when i fucked up on my kendo finals. you flew all the way for me when doug went away. you stayed on despite what a bitch i was. you made sure hell was raised for sho when shit happened between he and i. thank you for the crazy shopping trips and crazy midnight chatters. thank you for holding me up together when everything else fell apart. thank you for being the best girlfriend i ever had. lastly, thank you for being you.

i love you, oli.

HOW WE ROCKED OKINAWA

mr. kamata surprised us with a deep sea fishing trip to the island above mentioned before oli left for nyc.

oli rocking under water with nemo and friends.

kamata sr.'s prized catch.

kamata jr.'s prized catch.

the rest of our mediocre catch. meh.

JUST IN TIME

just 3 hours after i touched down nrt, i found myself cheering on champers at yuri's wedding with blood-shot-eyed-shuuhei while leaving shin and oli rocked roppongi. i totally forgot about her wedding!

ほんとうに申し訳ありませんでした!

WHILE WE WERE AT IT!

unplanned re-route.

shin: rep-hkt-nrt

oli: rep-hkt-nrt-jfk

rei: rep-hkt-nrt

patong beach, phuket.

3 days of sun, sand, sunscreen, shades and slothfulness.

thank you.

SPUR OF THE MOMENT

plans made within 36 hours.

shin: nrt-rep

oli: jfk-rep

rei: nrt-rep

siem reap, cambodia.

3 days of awesomeness.

さようなら

it was inevitable. things were getting out of hand without her knowledge but she will not make it uglier than it already is.

ps - she's ok. she saw it coming, really. plus it didn't hurt as bad as she thought it would be. so, don't worry. :)

FOR REI. FROM SHO.

before he left for osaka.

NERVED

it's a feeling that i find it hard to shake off. and it isn't a good one. a show might end. the curtains might be closing and someone will take a bow. i fear it's soon.

HARAJUKU ATTACK

with sho being in fukuoka over the weekend doing his thing, shuuhei and i went berserk at harajuku. check his flickr out. it was one of the most exciting sessions we ever had truth be told but as expected, human isn't my best forte. shuuhei reckoned i was too distracted by their awesomeness. i think i'll stick to non-moving objects for time-being.